I am Coming Out! ๐Ÿšช๐Ÿ˜œ

… as a blingosexual transfinancial heavy metal bat of colour [beige]. I have ATM syndrome (Automated Teller Machine syndrome; when the ATM does not want to give me more than I need, I get anxiety), CPTSD (Chocolate Powered Trump Sensitivity Disease : if i eat chocolate and Trump is on TV, I break out in hives) and MTV disease (Metal Thrashing Virus; when metal comes … Continue reading I am Coming Out! ๐Ÿšช๐Ÿ˜œ

My London Beach Holidays : ๐Ÿ–•U Boris

The year is 2021 and the UK’s blonde himbo version of Mussolini has declared that holidays for the working class are illegal. Of course, these rules do not apply to the antediluvian incestuous geriatric vermin known as the royal family. Souvlaki cravings must be met at all costs (including those oh so pesky carbon emissions the masses get guilted about constantly), and thus a trip … Continue reading My London Beach Holidays : ๐Ÿ–•U Boris

Live & Let Live ๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™€๏ธ

Yep, I have not written for a while … This is due to the utter monotony I have let myself get into – a monotony which is paradoxically on steroids, thanks to the illegal lockdown currently in place in the UK. This is not to say that I have not been practicing what I preach; ie always do something worthwhile each day – only that … Continue reading Live & Let Live ๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™€๏ธ

Mood : The Cartoonish Life ๐Ÿคก

It is early 2021 and life has become something of a cartoon. The Vaccine Villainsโ„ขย  are currently running wild and are still fidgeting numbers to scare the masses. Yes, any death for any reason within 28 days of a covid test is still recorded as a covid death. So, you could have caught this flu, been ran over by a bus driven by Keanu Reeves, … Continue reading Mood : The Cartoonish Life ๐Ÿคก

Mainstream Medicine 2021 ๐Ÿ’‰โš•๏ธ

It is January 2021 and the shitshow known as Certificate of Vaccine ID is still flying high. *Sighs with floating but heavily sanitised buccal particles* (my mouthwash is amazing y’all). Amongst other stupidities, today I went out for a walk and saw a dude wearing TWO masks. No, I wasn’t drunk and yes, I had my glasses on. Two masks, one black and one white … Continue reading Mainstream Medicine 2021 ๐Ÿ’‰โš•๏ธ

Covid Nazis Love Excel ๐Ÿค“๐Ÿ“‘

Just when I thought that humanity couldn’t sink any lower, there goes a totally serious post on a Reddit beauty forum (Beauty Guru Chatter aka the Beauty Virtue Gutter), whereby an obnoxious user created a whole ass goddamn pivot table of all the less than 6 feet apart recorded interactions of YouTuber James Charles during a period of 81 days … It seems to me … Continue reading Covid Nazis Love Excel ๐Ÿค“๐Ÿ“‘

The Tragic Magick of Convid ๐Ÿ”ฎ๐ŸŽฉ

Magic is the ability to control one’s perception; indeed where you saw a rabbit coming out of nowhere, the magician did have it coming from somewhere. The rabbit was always there, you just never saw it for yourself. Ok so for the triggered vegans out-there, and because I like to inject ridiculousness into everything I do, here is another analogy. A Wonderbra makes the unsuspecting … Continue reading The Tragic Magick of Convid ๐Ÿ”ฎ๐ŸŽฉ

Mirror Mirror on the Wall, What’s the Biggest Psyop of Them All? ๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ™„

I shit you not (well I shouldn’t really … considering the Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020, lolz), we now have been instructed by the ruling bellends to play pretend sick (do we get nursed by pretend George Clooney from ER too?) because playing pretend sick will trick the virus that-is-so-virulent-it-needs-a-test-to-find-it (and kills less than the flu), from phantom spreading. Ah yes, didn’t you know … Continue reading Mirror Mirror on the Wall, What’s the Biggest Psyop of Them All? ๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ™„

Spotted : Unsanitary Insanity in the City ๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ˜

This reaaaaaally looks like the kind of place I would confidently walk in to have my nose scavenged harder than a goldmine for the paltry sum of โ‚ฌ90, and a result as fluctuating as a yo-yo dieter’s weight. And yes, this is a legit “test center” in France; and most of them are scattered opposite pharmacies. Is it perhaps to sell them the cure after … Continue reading Spotted : Unsanitary Insanity in the City ๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ˜