Bullet for my Valentine Timeline ๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“

Valentine’s Day 2021 was a ยฃ20 M&S meal deal, some Lindor chocolate, a gorgeous bouquet of flowers and tons of Rupaul Drag Race. Little things are big to me, so this was a lovely way of indulging. Sure, I could hear my good sis MyfitnessPal screeching about the excess calories every time I’d input a new food item on the app, but I have been … Continue reading Bullet for my Valentine Timeline ๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“

Mood : The Cartoonish Life ๐Ÿคก

It is early 2021 and life has become something of a cartoon. The Vaccine Villainsโ„ขย  are currently running wild and are still fidgeting numbers to scare the masses. Yes, any death for any reason within 28 days of a covid test is still recorded as a covid death. So, you could have caught this flu, been ran over by a bus driven by Keanu Reeves, … Continue reading Mood : The Cartoonish Life ๐Ÿคก

Mainstream Medicine 2021 ๐Ÿ’‰โš•๏ธ

It is January 2021 and the shitshow known as Certificate of Vaccine ID is still flying high. *Sighs with floating but heavily sanitised buccal particles* (my mouthwash is amazing y’all). Amongst other stupidities, today I went out for a walk and saw a dude wearing TWO masks. No, I wasn’t drunk and yes, I had my glasses on. Two masks, one black and one white … Continue reading Mainstream Medicine 2021 ๐Ÿ’‰โš•๏ธ

I Miss the 90’s : The Nerdy Alt Chick Edition ๐Ÿค“๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ

… in 1997, I was a shy but already snarky geeky teenager. My dad had proudly bought the first of many Personal Computers that would be gracing my poor eyesight – one of those bricks that were the pinnacle of technology back then. And within a couple of months of goofing about on it, I had already learnt how to screw with the WIN.INI file. … Continue reading I Miss the 90’s : The Nerdy Alt Chick Edition ๐Ÿค“๐Ÿ–ฅ๏ธ

Blue Monday : The Blues or The Bloom? ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ‹

Is there a Smurf hidden in my Huawei phone? This is legitimately the question I asked myself when I looked back at my phone’s gallery today (well, not really but I am bored and need some literary drama). Somehow, all of last week’s pictures from my London walks have one common point: they’re bluer than Clumsy Smurf choking on a blueberry. So what did I … Continue reading Blue Monday : The Blues or The Bloom? ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ‹

My 2020 Crimbo : Blingin’ Bat Bliss ๐Ÿฆ‡๐ŸŽ…๐ŸŽ„

Burnt party food? Check! Kung Fu Panda Trilogy with associated follow-up rubbish fat jokes? Check! Yippee Ki Yay Motherfucker? Check! More bling than a Snoop Dog Christmas Tree? Check! Awesome presents from friends located in Tier Tartan Bollocks? check! Checkmate BoCock ! ( I consider Matt Hancock and Boris Johnson like the evil Brangelina of the UK and they deserve the appropriate moniker innit!). I … Continue reading My 2020 Crimbo : Blingin’ Bat Bliss ๐Ÿฆ‡๐ŸŽ…๐ŸŽ„

Heavy Weights for a Heavy Metal Chick ๐Ÿ‹๏ธโ€โ™€๏ธ

As I am still yet to see any genuine health-focused governmental advice (ya know like : go out and breathe some fresh air, eat fruit and veg, take vitamin D and Zinc … All that free stuff that won’t line their pockets), I thank the High Heavens for having gifted me a brain that can compute what to do to get healthier in a non … Continue reading Heavy Weights for a Heavy Metal Chick ๐Ÿ‹๏ธโ€โ™€๏ธ

Mirror Mirror on the Wall, What’s the Biggest Psyop of Them All? ๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ™„

I shit you not (well I shouldn’t really … considering the Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020, lolz), we now have been instructed by the ruling bellends to play pretend sick (do we get nursed by pretend George Clooney from ER too?) because playing pretend sick will trick the virus that-is-so-virulent-it-needs-a-test-to-find-it (and kills less than the flu), from phantom spreading. Ah yes, didn’t you know … Continue reading Mirror Mirror on the Wall, What’s the Biggest Psyop of Them All? ๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ™„

My Right Side is Always Right ๐Ÿ’„๐Ÿง

Lockdown has actually been fabulous for me … indeed; it has unlocked me. Without lockdown, I wouldn’t have had the compulsion to dye my hair red (and thereby feel fiery as fuck). Without lockdown, I wouldn’t have been compelled to walk everyday at least 20k steps to keep both my booty and sanity in check. Without lockdown, I wouldn’t have been compelled to re-examine how … Continue reading My Right Side is Always Right ๐Ÿ’„๐Ÿง