On Wednesday 22nd of September, I went to a yoga class. Just like all the other Wednesdays. But on this particular Wednesday, as I lept towards the floor for a smooth “downward facing dog” – I felt as if I was leaping in the toilet bowl of a nightclub after one too many drinks: I felt nauseous, dizzy and sick. Basically all the drunk side … Continue reading Killing the Kilos … And the Kardashians🔪💃
Back in 2020, when the scamdemic officially started, I received a message advising me that my gym was to shut down – indefinitely. As soon as I read this, the wrong kind of athletics started kicking in : the anxiety marathon. Why? Well, to me the gym is the ultimate therapy, not only does it make my mind sharper than a Karen’s inverted bob haircut, … Continue reading Making Working Out Work Out 🏋️♀️💪
… as a blingosexual transfinancial heavy metal bat of colour [beige]. I have ATM syndrome (Automated Teller Machine syndrome; when the ATM does not want to give me more than I need, I get anxiety), CPTSD (Chocolate Powered Trump Sensitivity Disease : if i eat chocolate and Trump is on TV, I break out in hives) and MTV disease (Metal Thrashing Virus; when metal comes … Continue reading I am Coming Out! 🚪😜
So my weights have serendipitously arrived today, the 31st December 2020 … I could swear that it is the Universe dropping a not so subtle hint : ya better get ready to pump some iron at the stroke of midnight hun! Saying that, I really do hope that the Universe does not actually use the word hun … We’re fucked if It does. All is … Continue reading There is No “New Me”… Only a Finer Me 🧐!
I shit you not (well I shouldn’t really … considering the Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020, lolz), we now have been instructed by the ruling bellends to play pretend sick (do we get nursed by pretend George Clooney from ER too?) because playing pretend sick will trick the virus that-is-so-virulent-it-needs-a-test-to-find-it (and kills less than the flu), from phantom spreading. Ah yes, didn’t you know … Continue reading Mirror Mirror on the Wall, What’s the Biggest Psyop of Them All? 💉🙄